I don't know what's the best way to describe today. It started off with a morning jog slash stroll slash blissful rest by the riverside. As far as mornings go, it was preettty darn nice. Somewhere, about midway along the stretch of riverside, there was a break in the trees, and a resplendid view of the river with sunlight gloriously glimmering off the surface of the waters. It's the type of image you just want to sit and watch for as long as possible; the thermostat turned to 'just....right...' Perfect conditions for soaking up my RDA of vitamin D.
The floods in Pakistan hit the news this week, and almost immediately, people have been phoning to make donations. It was 9am on Tuesday morning, and the first supporter I spoke to was so moved by the need that she was itching to make a donation. She just wanted to do whatever she could and somewhere in the conversation she talked about how she didn't ever want to grow cold towards the needs of others. I'm sure I empathised with her, did all the standard verbal nods that you do to convince people you understand and that you feel the same way that they do. I might even have experienced a little moisture in the tear ducts. Then the phone call ended. And I got back to work.
This is what I hoped would never happen. How is it possible to stop seeing the tear stained faces behind this awful disaster? How has it happened that I've become blind to whatever needs are in front of me, that I fail to see beyond ... me.
Another phone call this morning, and it ended with, 'in some ways, what you do [ie my job] must be very depressing - always hearing the trauma and the hopelessness'. I paused before answering. But I couldn't really find the words. Maybe it's some sort of emotional displacement - a subconscious way of separating the emotion and just getting the job done. Deal with the heartache later. At a more convenient time.
I'm guilty of wanting to get on with things and neglecting my role in changing how this event impacts someones life, how it can potentially be used to bring hope out of despair. I haven't had time to pray for the people, the children, the homeless and those grieving the loss of loved ones. Actually, that's probably all I can do. I just haven't made time to do it. Spiritual complacency.
I had a wake up call this week. From a lady, who couldn't pray that morning until she knew she had done something for the people in Pakistan. I didn't realise how much that phone call meant until this morning. Until I stopped and looked. The beauty; the stillness of a river. Made me thankful for his creation. And broke my heart for the people who start at zero again, rebuilding their lives.
Pakistan updates from Save the Children
Pray for Pakistan (Tearfund).
